Together

A 6-Week Men’s Circle Series

Do you often feel like you’re the only one? Like there’s something wrong with you?

Like:

  • “I feel so isolated. I wish I had some close friends.”

  • “If I ask for help, I feel like I’ll be a burden, or be seen as weak. I better figure this out on my own.”

  • “I wish I could feel more. More than anger, anyway.”

  • “I always struggle with talking with my partner. I know they want more. So do I.”

  • “I just feel stuck. It’s like I’m lost. I have no idea what my purpose is anymore—if I ever did.”

Well here’s a secret: you’re not. You’re actually surrounded by guys who feel the same. I promise you that.

But here’s the rub: the only way to really learn this, and to do anything about it is together.

A men’s circle can help. It’s a place where you get to learn how to show up for others, and have them show up for you. It’s a place where you can learn to count on each other.

Here’s a question to help you understand the power of a men’s circle: What do you think your childhood would have felt like if your dad had had a group of guys he could count on in his life?

I’ll let you sit with that for a moment.

The power of a men’s circle comes from three things:

  • The consistency of showing up each week - for yourself and for the other men;

  • The relationships you build - with one another and with yourself;

  • The commitment you make - to yourself and each other.

This 6-week series—TOGETHER—is designed to give you the felt sense of this power, to begin to forge the relationships you can count on, and to give you the foundational skills that helps make you a supportive member of whatever circle you’re a part of.

How this works

We’ll meet for 6-weeks, in-person, for two-hour sessions. Each week will build on the next, with a theme, and teach different skills that can help you in your relationships, your work, and anywhere that you are connecting with other people (as well as your own personal development work). Between each session, we’ll use a digital hub to stay connected, with optional buddy calls to dive into reflection questions and keep the work alive.

Week One - Laying the Foundation: Building Trust from the Ground Up

Trust is central to successful relationships, let alone a successful circle. We’ll work on building trust from day one.

Week Two - Two Sides of the Blade: Shame & Grandiosity

Looking at two primary drivers of conventional masculinity, we’ll explore how these keep us separate from ourselves and from one another.

Week Three - Behind the Armor: The Weakness of Invulnerability

Most of us got the message that to be a man, we have to lock down our emotions and not appear “weak”. We’ll look at how that story has hurt us more than almost anything.

Week Four - The Genius Behind Your Survival: The Adaptive Child

It turns out that many of the emotional defenses that we find are in the way now were once helpful to us. We’ll look at how and find ways to thank them.

Week Five - Acknowledging the Weight: The Grief We Carry

Inevitably, behind each of these is grief—something we usually keep at a distance. Here we’ll learn to hold it, together.

Week Six - Putting it All Together: The Circle as a Way of Relating

Let’s open ourselves into the space we’ve created together and look toward our collective future.

What you get

  • Six two-hour facilitated men’s circles

  • An opportunity to learn and practice skills and techniques that you can use to improve your relationships, work, and connection with yourself

  • A dedicated digital platform for connection with the other men between circles

  • Optional buddy calls over the course of the series to engage in reflection with one of the other men

Series Details

  • Days/Time: Thursdays, 6pm - 8pm, beginning February 19th (Feb. 19th, 26th, March 5th, 12th, 19th, 26th)

  • Location: Phinney Ridge, Seattle (Exact location provided with registration)

  • Agreements: The ask is that each man agrees to come to each week, and as on time as possible. In addition, when you register, you will be asked to have an open mind to the agreements that are listed below.

This series is limited to 10 men in order to ensure that each participant gets the attention that is needed. A minimum of four men is necessary to ensure that we have enough energy in the space to get the full feel of a circle.

Cost and Registration

It’s important to me that this space is available to everyone. To make this possible, I offer this program at three different tiers. The criteria I ask men to use when deciding on a tier are: 1. What is an amount that feels like an investment to you, and, 2. What is an amount that doesn’t keep you up at night?

  • Supporting Tier: $360 ($60 per session) - Pay this rate if you have the resources to support other men who could use a hand up

  • General Admission Tier: $270 ($45 per session) - Pay this rate if you regularly meet your monthly needs easily

  • Supported Tier: $180 ($30 per session) - Pay this rate if you regularly find yourself stretching to meet your monthly needs

If paying in installments would help, let me know. I’m happy to set that up.

If all of these are out of reach for you right now, don’t hesitate to email me at hello [at] circ [dot] al - we’ll figure something out to make sure that you can have this experience.

Your Facilitator

This series will be facilitated by me, Gregory Flynn, of circ.al. I stepped into my first men’s circle in 2008 and have been facilitating them in one way or another since 2012. In 2020, at the very beginning of the pandemic, I created Men Connecting, a men’s circle that’s still meeting weekly. In 2022 and 2023 I hosted The Bind, a podcast for men and the people who loved them (currently being rebooted in the form of be.wild.er, a new project I'm launching on Substack). 

I’ve facilitated retreats and workshops for men and for mixed gender groups, as well as leadership and culture development projects within the non-profit, public, and private sectors. 

I live in North Seattle with my wonderful wife and rambunctious dog. I love to spend my time with good friends, over a cup of tea, as well as in the woods and on the water.

Agreements

Creating a container like this requires a commitment by everyone involved to tend to the space. I use agreements as part of that tending. Below is an agreement related to the timing of the circle, as well as five agreements that we’ll be using.

For those registering, I you’ll be asked if you are able to commit to the first agreement and if you are willing to step into the circle with a curious mind about the five in-circle-agreements:

  • I will be able to arrive no later than 6pm so we can begin on time, and will be able to stay until the circle closes at 8pm

  • We slow down in order to track ourselves and each other

  • We use "I" statements in order to own our thoughts and feelings

  • We seek to witness—rather than 'fix'—one another in order to experience holding and being held

  • We honor the sacred nature of one another's shares in order to build trust

  • We invite complexity, paradox, and generative tension in order to create the conditions for growth, healing, and transformation